That day, i woke up with the first thought of regrets and hand full of desperate and curious questions. It was all blurry, well of course. It was just a dream, but it meant so much to me. It was what i've been waiting and praying for. Is been more than over six months since i last heard your laughter or either that smile that lighted up the entire room whenever we got together every weekend for dinner. What am i saying. It was more than six months since anything had heard of lay their eyes on you. But that's ok, because i know you're in a better place now. A place where only peace and joy exist. A place people called heaven. I often wonder what its like to be so close to God and in a place with no sin or what so ever. Was it really like what everyone described? Or at least as wonderful and peaceful as everyone thought it will be? I guess the answer will eventually come when the time is right.
I could still pictured it clearly in my mind. You were driving my brother's car as i sat next to you on the passenger sit and it was only the both of us. It was pretty dark and pouring rain out but there wasn't any thunder. We were on the road somewhere right behind my house. You weren't speeding either were you driving too slow. I remembered looking down and saw that i was wearing my school uniform. So i guess you were fetching me to school. I was happy, happy to be there with you and glad that you were with me. So i was petty much smiling the whole time as you were too. You looked different, healthy and you got the same hair style like the very last time i saw you standing up by yourself. And your face, you looked so pretty with your usual makeup.
And you turned and asked me. (Shit! i can't remember this one) But i remembered it was something random like a normal conversation sort of question. (If you get what i mean) Anyhow, right after the question. I didn't even had the chance to give you an answer. And there i was, laying on my bed feeling what i felt. I broke down and cried. I missed you so much you have no idea. I kept trying to recall back that one dream.
As i sat on my bed, still sobbing. Debating with myself in my mind, whether that was just a dream or was it really you. I prayed hard to see you again the following night. Hopping i could see and hear you again. But no, it didn't happened. Maybe it wasn't the right time to see you again. Or maybe I'm just going crazy. Or maybe, God might just have something better in mind. Whatever it is, i'm going to let him decide. ♥
I could still pictured it clearly in my mind. You were driving my brother's car as i sat next to you on the passenger sit and it was only the both of us. It was pretty dark and pouring rain out but there wasn't any thunder. We were on the road somewhere right behind my house. You weren't speeding either were you driving too slow. I remembered looking down and saw that i was wearing my school uniform. So i guess you were fetching me to school. I was happy, happy to be there with you and glad that you were with me. So i was petty much smiling the whole time as you were too. You looked different, healthy and you got the same hair style like the very last time i saw you standing up by yourself. And your face, you looked so pretty with your usual makeup.
And you turned and asked me. (Shit! i can't remember this one) But i remembered it was something random like a normal conversation sort of question. (If you get what i mean) Anyhow, right after the question. I didn't even had the chance to give you an answer. And there i was, laying on my bed feeling what i felt. I broke down and cried. I missed you so much you have no idea. I kept trying to recall back that one dream.
As i sat on my bed, still sobbing. Debating with myself in my mind, whether that was just a dream or was it really you. I prayed hard to see you again the following night. Hopping i could see and hear you again. But no, it didn't happened. Maybe it wasn't the right time to see you again. Or maybe I'm just going crazy. Or maybe, God might just have something better in mind. Whatever it is, i'm going to let him decide. ♥
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