crying is not an answer..but a reason..

My parents knew u, even before when i was born..
and when i finally arrive into this typical world..
you were the first one who called out my name..
you were the reason why people address me as 'Denise' for 15years..
if it wasn't for you..my name wouldn't be 'Denise'..
in fact..people will address me as 'Dory'..what a age name to be called..
but you were there..so things were diff..

As time passes..you were always there,By My Side..
Carrying me when i couldn't Walk....
n Held my hand n walk with me so i wouldn't Fall..
when i Cried..you Dry my tears..
Telling me, it will be Ok..n Draw a smile on my face..
from what i could think of..when i look back..
It seems like..i can only remember all the awesome memories n times we had n spend together..

u make me smile as i smile back gladly till my eye can only be seen in a straight line..
u make me laugh as i laugh back crazily n tears of joy follows behind..
u make me feel safe as i stay close to u every single time..
u make me feel the excitement build up like I'm going for a holiday when I'm on my way to see u..

I remember..there was a time..
u were in a surgery..n i was home..
praying n crying my heart out..
praying that u would get through this..
n finally..the surgery was done..n u were fine..
but not well..
u were still ill..n u wanted to gave up..
because there was too much pain..
i know u couldn't take it..

I really didn't know what to do..
all i do was just cry my eyes out..
n soon as i realize crying isn't gonna bring yr hopes up..
i begin to text u..n try to remind u of what u have promised me..
n hoping u will think it over..n realize there is still unfinished business..
one of the promise was u said u will recover as soon as u can n bring me to Belgium with u..
n only the both of us..
n that so happen..it somehow bring yr hopes up again..
u have no idea how relief i was to hear from u..
that u will continue fight back those virus in u..
n u haven forget yr promise..

But the virus was too strong..
n u were in the worst stage for cancer..
but u were stronger then anybody..inside n out..
n i have really high hopes for u..
but don worry..u didn't let me down.. :)

Today i went to visit u once more..i was really early..
as i walk near to yr side..dadi was holding my hand..
n i could sense..his touch..was telling me to be prepare..
n i was..ready to see u once again..n it maybe the last I'll ever do..
as i lay my eye on u..u look different..
maybe u wouldn't smiling..yea..maybe..
but still,u look very beautiful to me..
i really wish..n pray..that i could see u smile..
one last time..I'm not asking for more..maybe for just a second..
just one very last time..just see u smile before u go..
but i know..that is not gonna happen in reality..
n maybe..after i leave this place..i could only see u in my dreams..
yea..that could happen..

Surprisingly, i didn't cry..or tears..when i see u today..
but i was glad to see u..i felt safe n warm..
being close to u again..
u might not be able to speak to me..
or u might not lay yr eyes on me again..
but i know..u're looking after me..
n u're speaking to me through my tots..
so i will just close my eye n try to hear your voice again..

N from the day u left this world to heaven..
i've been praying..hard..to see u in my dreams..
n it didn't happen..
well,guess what? I'm just gonna try harder each time..
each nite before i go to bed..I'm not giving up..
until i see u again..n that's a guaranty..

U were always the female version of hero in my life..
n u have always been the greatest godmother anyone could ever have..
n i'm really really lucky to be yr godchild..
n to be loved by u..

Well,i just receive my bday present form u today..
i guess yr friend from outstation just got back or something..
the give is amazing..i really love it..
I'm wearing the cross n diamond necklace u gave me before..
it looks really good on me..because u're the one who pick it out for me..

N i also want u to know that..
for all the coming n following days..
i know my tears might visit again..
but i want u to know that those tears..
will b tears of joy..
i'm just really glad that u wouldn't have to suffer anymore..
wouldn't have to feel pain anymore..
wouldn't have to be sad anymore..
n wouldn't have to worry about anything anymore..
because now..u're at a place which is full of peace n happiness..
n living a dream..

I will treasure every memory..
n every single thing u left behind for me..
till the day i see u again..

n u will always be remembered..
n remembered by me..forever n always..n that's another guaranty..

remember..
I love u.. &

I'll miss you!! :)

just from
with love &
yrs sincerely
yr godchild,Denise.. ♥
14 of dec let this day b remembered..